Sunday, March 20, 2011

Incurvitas in se

Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. It's been almost a year since my last post.....

Incurvitas in se - this is a new phrase I learned this past week. It is a phrase which may have been coined by Augustine, but about which Martin Luther wrote much. The full phrase he actually used was, "homo incurvitas in se ipsem," which means, "man turning in on himself." One of the things I heard about this phrase when I was first learning it was the idea of a curled wood shaving that is turned in on itself, but in the center is actually a hole.

This is what life is like when we function from a perspective of incurvitas in se. Our tendency is to focus so much on ourselves that we actually can miss everything that is happening around us. And when we do that, we end up just being centered around emptiness.

Yesterday I was heading to the office to try and get some concentrated work done in a very limited amount of time. I had high hopes for that time.

On my way, I received a message there was someone at the office who was in need of assistance. Really?! I don't have time for this!

I arrived, listened to the story, offered some assistance, and about 15 minutes later headed back to the church. As I was driving up the street toward the church, there was an elderly woman standing in the street next to a bike, all of her stuff (which may have been all of her possessions) laying on the street next to her. It looked as if she was trying to work on her bike. I had to move to the left in order to avoid her, and the story of the good Samaritan flashed through my mind. Really Lord!?!? Again?

I stopped. We eventually untangled the bungee cord that was wrapped around her axel, and we were both off. Another 10 minutes gone.

I was suffering from incurvitas in se!

By the time I got back to the office, I had effectively lost half an hour. I sat down to make the most of the time I had left, but didn't get finished before I had to leave for the next assignment. I figured I would just have to stay up late that night to get everything done, since the rest of my day was booked until 9 PM. Oh well.

Incurvitas in se!

Much to my surprise, my afternoon appointment that was supposed to go from 1-5, actually ended at 3! Seriously, Lord!?!?!

As I once again headed back to the office with the gift of 2 more hours before my next appointment, God seemed to whisper to me, "Thanks for listening earlier, even if you did it with a poor attitude. Your willingness to work with me in the moment, made a huge difference for those people, and now you get to see that I am still taking care of you too."

While my actions earlier that day had not been inwardly focused, my attitude certainly had been incurvitas in se! And now the Lord was showing me that perhaps the next time I could seek His help and allow my actions and my attitude to line up. And that just might make it possible for me to see those people as people, not a bother to my schedule.

Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I suffer from incurvitas in se!

2 comments:

Barb said...

I think it's so hard to remember that He takes care of us. . Which frees us up to take care of others. What's exciting about that, at least to me, is that He takes care of others THROUGH us, letting us be part of that cycle.

Thanks for this reminder that is I focus outwardly, He'll manage the rest.

Jon said...

Thanks for posting! It's about time! lol

Your words echo my recent journey. Staying outwardly focused in good times and bad times and in all times is a discipline worth pursuing.

I have found that it is a discipline. Remember Mr. Hess telling us "entropy works"? It also works personally. If we do not exercise the muscles of being outwardly focused, entropy of the spirit will be the natural outcome and we will be sour, self-centered people.

Thanks